Miriam Hill on Motherhood

Miriam Hill is an attorney advisor for a federal government agency in Washington, D.C. She is also the mother of a beautiful, vibrant, and busy daughter. For Miriam, she derives joy from loving and giving to a person she cares for unconditionally. When her daughter came into this world, Miriam had that overwhelming feeling of pure protective love for her. It has been very fulfilling for Miriam to care for her, guide her, and try to make her feel happy and loved. In the beginning, the fun was reliving life through the eyes of an innocent child as she explored the world. Now that she is a teenager and the innocent veil is lifted somewhat, it is still an adventure for Miriam to navigate society’s changes with her daughter.

Motherhood has improved Miriam’s time management skills tenfold. She no longer attacks the day as if she has a lot of time to do something. Compared to the time before she was a mother, she spent 30% as much time on a work task but arguably does a more proficient job on it because she is laser-focused because she wants to get it done (and done well) so she can spend time with her daughter.

Motherhood has somehow made me a lot more comfortable in my skin and I feel a lot more authentic at work. I believe (and hope) that this has made me more trustworthy to my professional colleagues.

Miriam Hill

Work has enabled Miriam to be an effective communicator and advocate for her daughter. She is also able to absorb and analyze complex material with her to assist her with her goals.

Miriam on parenting advice:

I am loathe to impart specific parental advice because every person’s situation is unique and every person and household has values, systems, and lifestyle preferences in place that could be quite different from mine. So with that in mind, the following would be what I could generally recommend and I know none of it is terribly profound but good reminders nonetheless:

  1. Learn yourself and your family and what makes you all happy, healthy, and fulfilled or thriving. Try to identify functional behaviors and communication styles that works for you all. Don’t try to mimic someone else if it doesn’t fit for you. To steal an oft-used phrase, “comparison is the thief of joy.”
  2. Remember to listen. Really listen and not think about what you want to say next.
  3. Go easy on yourself. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll say things you wish you hadn’t. You’ll have bad days. This is normal. Forgive yourself. Focus on the positive. Dust yourself off, regroup, apologize if you were wrong, double down on efforts to do better, and move forward. If you have a low moment about yourself, write down why you’re grateful and what you love about yourself and your family and then go smile at yourself in the mirror. I promise that will help turn things around. If not, seek help. There is no shame in seeking help for mental health problems as mental health is as important as physical health and we see a doctor when our body breaks down so we should when our mind does too.
  4. Enjoy the beauty of your life’s creation. Revel in the joy you all have. Ensure there is laughter every day, hugs every day, and “I love you” cannot be said enough.
  5. Try to take care of yourself. Like airplane recommendations, you shouldn’t tend to others if an airplane depressurizes until you yourself have oxygen or everyone loses. Likewise, you aren’t your best if you’re unhealthy. You know this to be true in life generally. Try to find a way to carve out some time for yourself to do what healthfully grounds you and supports your physical and mental health, whatever that may be.
  6. Lean on others when you can’t do everything you want without becoming too stressed and ill-tempered. You can’t possibly do it all yourself especially if you have work obligations outside of the home. There is no guilt in that because otherwise you will be over-extended and something will not work out the way you hoped for. You will help others too when you can to pay it back or forward.
  7. Do what you can to be as involved in your child’s life as possible even if your schedule only permits you to read a book to them at night. There will be no regrets about that in the future. Higher life success for children is directly connected to parental interest, enthusiasm and support.
  8. Remember your children are *always* watching you. 😊